Thinking So Loud
2 min readNov 10, 2017


Now I’m Open

Open, Like You’ve Never Seen Me Before-

This is the first song I ever wrote. It was like touching lighting. Fully formed it came rushing out of me in one swift euphony of chords and rhythm and howling vocals that seemed somehow mine but not, it was like being fascinated by being your own puppet and euphoric because the puppeteer tickled your fancy . Yes like I was saying quick and surreal.

It was the highest I will say I have ever felt or any human could ever possibly feel, adrenaline maybe, but I have experienced the sporting rush this is much different, so much finer, brighter, electric. Truly a transcendent thing happened to me, that late fall afternoon in the Ozark woods .

To this day, still the best decision I ever made in my whole life, was running away at the age of 24, to the peanut butter cult commune in the woods. It’s also known as Eastwind Community, should anyone out there feel the need to escape to find themselves.

I learned to love the things I thought I couldn’t. Miserable things about life, unfair things about the world, and especially everything about myself. Amongst the most interesting creative people I had ever known, with sound, laughter, sun., caves and creeks, communication, confrontation, and heartbeats and breaks. The very best of friends and always confusing to me fakes. When I sing, it heals broken places only sound can find.

Out of curiosity, and because I live in the soul of country, I got my first, my most magical song reviewed by the Nashville Singer Songwriters Association…and oh geez howdy and holy hog shit, is pretty much the sum of their take on it. The reviewer did not like or understand the song at all, and the confused tone of the review makes me giggle every single time.

I find it so perfectly comical and of course not surprising at all that commercial radio rustlers can’t recognize true creation..a in the zone moment. Surprisingly my ego was left intact despite the negative critique. I know where the song came from, who cares what anyone thinks. I won’t

But whatever, they write songs about whiskey dick, I write songs with gods dick. Rock on.